Another one bites the dust…

Well, two actually. Two people deleted me tonight….

[14:00] OnAndOffFriend Resident: Good luck with your life

[15:09] BeenMyFriendforYears Resident: how about.. fuck off 🙂

Sometimes I can’t be what you need.

Sometimes I can’t even be what I need.

Sometimes I have nothing left in me and when I reach out to you or  you reach out to me for …something, for anything, and I can’t reciprocate exactly how you want me to in that very moment you react carelessly.

And even if it brings hot, sad tears to my eyes, that’s okay because… I have nothing in me just now, there’s nothing left. And to be honest, it’s just one less thing to worry about.  There are so many things to worry about and …it’s all too much sometimes. The pretence gets to me a little more each day.  The mask is going to slip soon and I’ll be there, exposed in my hopelessness and there will be no way back and .. at that point. I won’t want there to be.

I can feel it coming. Like my gran could feel the rain coming in her wee pinky… it’s there. It’s only a matter of time.

Sometimes .. you need to see more than what’s right in front of you. Sometimes you need to realise that…although someone hardly ever talks about what’s really wrong, although they always prefer to ask about you, to listen, sometimes …it’s just not possible to listen anymore. That it’s not about you… that the unsaid things are there being screamed silently from between the lines…and that sometimes, just sometimes… people desperately want someone. Anyone… to notice.

But…

People don’t. All the see is themselves. How actions affect them directly. It’s always all about them. About you. Instead of asking why, as I so often do .. so often… instead of thinking… this is different, why, the reaction is deletion.

Owell. I actually don’t fucking care.

This destroys my faith in … everything….

Screen Shot 2019-03-23 at 09.24.33“Hᴀᴛᴛᴏʀɪ Hᴀɴᴢᴏ (ares.firethorn): i am looking for a loving caring sweet beautiful women who can roleplay and emote, who loves to spend time together listen to live music,go dance and cuddle and sex, obviously . someone open minded as i seek someone, who wants once or twice a week help me orgasm by showing her naked breasts on webcam Just sitting there, no weird poses, no face, just sit there 15-20 Min, the rest in sl, i have to add my rl wife plays in sl too, she is married and partnered, and we sometimes meet, so you need to get along with her too, also i can only watch cam and not cam back i can make pics as per rule of the wife, she has the same rules offcourse, I am actively seeking someone who is prepared to do that for me, as i am very sexually active and seek a long term partner and exclusive if she wants such

Offcourse i would not ask cam from day one,
i would give you a week or so to get to know each other if you then stil dont like the idea we can each go our own way , im at the computer but im naked winks”

Unwise

Screen Shot 2019-03-15 at 22.00.56

[2019/03/14 15:37] x Resident: Some time ago i was looking for this intelligence mostly, mystery
[2019/03/14 15:37] x Resident: etc
[2019/03/14 15:37] x Resident: now too to some degree
[2019/03/14 15:37] x Resident: but mostly for some wisdom
[2019/03/14 15:37] x Resident: that is what attracts me
[2019/03/14 15:39] Loops (loopylou.sugarplum): well … I probably wont be so attractive to you
[2019/03/14 15:39] Loops (loopylou.sugarplum): I’m certainly not wise
[2019/03/14 15:40] x Resident: Sorry for being too direct but yes… that’s what i thought as well

Wow … he figured me out after just a few sentences. Amazing.